It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
