dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
