It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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