When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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