Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
