we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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