Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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