I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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