worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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