vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize