i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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