i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
