Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You smell like stripper and shame
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
