Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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