The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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