Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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