This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
