My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
