my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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