break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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