O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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