i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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