3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
