Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
