Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
