we have officially lost it.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
