The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
