Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
