i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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