Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize