if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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