I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
