your room smells of hookers.
And success
time to smoke my breakfast
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
