I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
