I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
