mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
