Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
