You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
