no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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