wrigley field is MILF paradise
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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