You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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