Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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