Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
