so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize