Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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