I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
