I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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