He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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