the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize