Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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