Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
