So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
