i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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