Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize