it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
