He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize