Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
