The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
