Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
