i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
