I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
