Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
