I'm drive I can fine osifer
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
