I didn't shave. On purpose
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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