I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize