with your own penis?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Do vagina's smell?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
