Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
